All Couples Are the Same

This past weekend was quite ordinary for us: Friday night we stayed in, watched a movie, and of course, ate dinner on our sofa. On Saturday, we met up with two other married couples for dinner at a Spanish restaurant. Dinner with friends always starts out the same with us. We order drinks and ask each other the same boring questions, "How is work going?", "What have you guys been up to?", ect. After what I refer to as the bullshit questions are out of the way, we all relax and the conversation is able to flow with much more ease. Usually, the conversation is filled with jokes, laughs, and interested faces. Every now and then, however, you'll find yourself in a situation where one of two things may occur: a) you're completely disinterested in what the person across from you is saying but gently jolt yourself to nod on cue and appear totally fascinated or b) your spouse/significant other has started a conversation while you sit beside and hope and pray that he/she does not say anything embarrassing or stupid.

Well, at this particular dinner, I found myself dealing with this latter situation: My dear husband wouldn't shut up. Now don't get me wrong, I adore my husband and love his corny sense of humor. However, there are times when he will start a conversation and I will cringe because I am afraid that no one will understand what the heck he is talking about or more importantly, why he is talking about a particular something. When I feel that this is occurring, I will gently pat him under the table. When that doesn't work, the gentle pats turn to discreet nudges. And if that doesn't work, well folks, you have to go for the inconspicuous kick. At that point, if he doesn't get that you want and need him to shut up, then you're in trouble and you're better off downing the glass of wine in front of you. Nine times of ten, however, this sequence of physical taps will do the job and luckily for me, my husband managed to get the hint.

After we had finished our appetizers, our focus turned to our friend who was talking about his efforts to prevent his town from turning the local park into a senior citizen center. Exciting stuff. As my husband and I tried to stay focused on our friend, I began to notice that his wife looked rather fidgety. "Interesting," I thought to myself. Now that I noticed a familiar feeling in someone other than myself, I found myself focusing on our friend's wife rather than his park saving efforts. Well, after ten minutes of park rallying tactics, I noticed it.....the gentle nudge, the tapping, and finally the kick! "Amazing!", I thought to myself. I wanted to laugh, not because our friend had just made a joke about senior citizens picnic'ing in his backyard, because I was relieved that my husband and I are not the only ones to engage in under-the-table sparring.