Today, i'm an angry girl. Why you ask? Well, I just feel like everything is going wrong this week. I've argued with my husband, brother, and parents. I feel like there is this external force conspiring to make my life miserable and whatever it is, it is succeeding because I am indeed a miserable person this week. On top of everything, my job has been adversely affecting me - the Judge doesn't understand the nature of the cases and the cases, well, it seems that I've inherited every crazy case in this county.
I didn't think it was possible to cry for three days straight (pms anyone?) but miraculously i've accomplished this and more miraculously, I still have tears left in me. When you're this upset, you wish that your tear reserve is empty so that you don't have to keep feeling the pain inside of you but when you start to feel and be conscious of your feelings, your body reacts by producing these annoying droplets.
So tonight, still feeling sad, miserable and depressed, I decide to try and block my mind my watching continuous episodes of my favorite - Sex & the City and so far, it's working.....but, it's not enough. So I decide to add some Ben & Jerry's ice cream to the mix (fro-yo of course because though the tum-tum craves the sweets, my ever expanding ass does not) and voila, I'm happy! While I'm happy in this setting, I'm afraid to shut the t.v. and stop eating the ice cream - afraid that my emotions will get the better of me and make me feel what I don't want to feel.
Ultimately, I realize that what I'm really craving is someone to hold and hug me and tell me that they love me. Instead I'm stuck with Carrie Bradshaw and crew and a bloated fro-yo filled tummy. I think this is why I wish I had a dog- they're always there to love you - unconditionally as the saying goes and that's what I want at this moment.
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